Day 3: Thankful for the Burn

4:44:00 PM BB 0 Comments

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 3

On a road trip this weekend, I listened to one of my favorite Usher songs "Let It Burn". I love Usher. #marryme?

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cause the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gonna learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn

Although the song is about relationships, it's applicable to life in general. Sometimes you have to let things burn and call it a day. A lot of my close friends are in transitions and feeling the burn right now. Breakups, illnesses, moving to new cities, looking for jobs, there's so much happening. And today, I'm thankful for the burn. Thankful because it reminds me that I'm human.

Today, I had a long conversation with someone who I consider one of my closest friends in Victoria. She cried and confided in me about the racism she is currently facing in her interracial relationship. I HAVE BEEN THERE.  Let it burn. Be thankful for the burn. Don't minimize the burn. Feel the pain. Cry it out. Dance it out. Just feel it.

Often times, racialized women or folks with marginalized identities are taught to deny their pain. Society tells us that this is what we should do when we are oppressed. "It's not too bad", "I overreacted", "Why can't I forget that argument?" The reality is that it was that bad, that's why you can't forgive and forget. It really hurts that's why you're in tears. Feel the sadness, feel the disappointment, feel the anger. Feel whatever you need to feel when you realize that the person you love the most can hurt you the most. Hurt you in a way that is so crucial to your identity. To your sense of self. Racism hurts. 

The struggle in interracial relationships is a unique one. Unlike lying, cheating, betrayal, and many other hurts; racism is unique. Only those who experience it really know how it burns. I told my friend what I'm writing here now: you get to feel sad and angry (or whatever else) because you know that the person you're with will never understand and feel this pain you're experiencing. They don't have that lived experience. 

Let it burn.


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