Get over a breakup in 6 weeks!

6:24:00 PM BB 2 Comments

3 months ago, I ended a ltr and in the weeks that followed, I was super sad and even questioned if I'd ever be happy again. But, dumping him was one of the best decisions I've made this year #basicboys hahahaha

6 weeks is my timeline because this was when I began to feel like the pain was gone and grief was over. Your results may vary. I dont think there's a one size fits all way to survive a breakup. What I did reflects my class, body, age, ability, etc privilege. Briefly, here's what worked for me:

1. Switch up your routine: for me this meant trying to wake up early to go to the gym. I also got an amazing job which meant I had to leave home and be somewhere everyday. 

My style also slightly changed. I find that with each growing experience, it's represented in my style no matter how slight.

If you shared a house with this person, gtfo helps.

2. Family, friends, and community: preferably friends who dislike your ex as much as you do haha. I remember those days fresh off the breakup and I had 14 friends check up on me. I hate counting things cos it seems so superficial. People sometimes see my shoe collection and ask me how many pairs I think I own. It's so superficial, I dont bother. But in this situation, on a very sad day, I told myself "yo bitch, 14 human beings all around the world have checked up on you and sent you positive energy today. You'll be fine"

Thank you to friends and family who kept me company, chatted with me, cooked for me, and did all sorts of amazingness. I have a solid community of people in Victoria which I'm super thankful for.

I also joined a Facebook support group for Ipocs dating white folks. This helped me heal because it showed me that all the bs I put up with from my white ex was not unique to me. What a wonderful feeling.

3. A team of specialists: For many people, the aftermath of a breakup, your body is in withdrawal from being touched a lot in a relationship. What did I do? I got an amazing team of women of colour specialists to touch me regularly haha. Support Iti, my amazing eyebrow and eyelash groomer. Hien, who makes sure my nails are always on fleek. And Lily for her relaxing facials. On the non poc side of things, Flo gives the most amazing massages. 

4. Books: Nothing better than reading a book to motivate you and remind you of how amazing you really are.

Travel: This isnt cheap but doesnt have to be extravagant either.  All I did was visit friends in Toronto and London Ont, which wasn't cheap cos you know how flying in Canada is such a rip off lol.

Stay fierce and happy.

2 comments:

  1. Great tips. Went through this quite recently, and switching up one's routine does help. I took photography classes and traveled a bit. After I was in a good place, I got back with this person again (SMH at me), and few months later I was in the same boat again--another break up! The second time was easier as I had grieved during the first break up, I think I got over it in a week.

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    1. Glad to know you're doing well :)

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